Seeing Stars: What's wrong with this test? A new kind of spring fever has beset California 4th grade teachers since the state decided to implement the new STAR Writing Test last year. Teachers find themselves in a crunch each spring trying to magically metamorphose their restless charglings into stellar writers in a matter of weeks or months—an impossible task for the most gifted among us. Compounding the problem is the poor quality of the prompts themselves. Last year, as most of you know, students were told to write an article summary that in reality was a comparison and contrast of frogs and toads. Far from the prime intention of a summary—to state the main idea of the article, and its major supporting ideas while leaving out extraneous details—students were rewarded for including descriptive details such as "sleek", "eyes perched", and "textured skin". Those students who actually understood the point of a summary, were berated for their brevity. With this combination of mixed messages, is it really any wonder that only 14% of 4th graders scored a 3 or 4 on the test? After last year's debacle, teachers have been biting their fingernails to the nub and picking at the coverlet in the wee small hours of the morning just hoping against hope that the state has learned how to write a decent prompt in the last year. Have they? No, they have not. According to a poll we took of two classes of 4th graders, this is how they understood the prompt: Write a "personal narrative" describing an imaginary day with an elephant. We can't check the exact wording since the prompt hasn't been released yet, but remember the audience for this test is fourth grade students, so their interpretation should be taken very seriously. What kind of narrative? So, what's wrong with this prompt? I know that many of you have already spotted several flaws. According to McDougal Littell, narrative writing tells a story. A story from your imagination is a fictional narrative. A true story about actual events is a nonfictional, or personal, narrative. A dialogue between one of the students who took the test and one of my colleagues went something like this: "Mrs. Marsh, I thought you told us never to make things up on a personal narrative." "That's right. Unless something really happened to you, it won't be important to you, and you won't have learned anything from the experience." "Well, how could I write a true story about a day I spent with an elephant when I've only seen an elephant in a zoo. I've never spent a day with one." At this point, Mrs. Marsh is stumped, but really wants to get her hands on the people from the state that wrote the test. Again, the exact wording of the test hasn't been released, but if a fourth grader, or the state, doesn't know the difference between a personal and fictional narrative, there is a real problem with this prompt. How hard would it be to add an explanation that this should be a fictional story? The Flatliner There are a lot of fourth graders who will completely miss the idea that a narrative is a story, and needs setting and character descriptions, a conflict, rising action, climax, and falling action—what those of you who are familiar with our curriculum know as Story Mountain. The response you will get from these students, is what we like to call a Flatliner. Here's a sample: I woke up this morning. There was this big elephant in my room. I got dressed. I ate breakfast. I gave the elephant some of my sereal but he didn't like it so much as peanuts. We went to school. We had to walk because he was too big to fit in my moms van. At school he had to stay outside because he couldn't fit in the classroom. He was by the table while I ate lunch but he didn't like that either. We walked home. That night I went to sleep in my room, but my mom said the elephant had to stay outside. In the morning he was gone. This isn't really much of a story, because there is no setting or character description, not even any speculation about how an elephant got into his room, where it came from, or what it is doing there. Because there is no conflict, or problem, there is no real rising action or climax, and certainly no falling action that includes some kind of theme or point to the story (We tell our students a story without a point-- is pointless.) What we have instead is a dull recitation of the activities of the student's day—but he just happens to have an elephant along for the ride. No event seems any more important than any other. This is a real Flatliner. But is it the student's fault, or the prompt's? This student just happened to key into the part of the prompt that asked him to describe an imaginary day with an elephant, which made him think he was writing a descriptive rather than a narrative, essay. Again, the state has sent a prompt with mixed messages. The Big Scoop? For those students who were well trained enough to pick up on the narrative idea, and knew that they needed a conflict, or problem, what do you think the number one (almost 50%) problem choice was? That's right, BIG POOP! All fourth grade teachers know that there is nothing so hysterical to a ten year old as bodily functions. If the trend of our very unscientific survey holds true, you can just imagine how big a shovel evaluators will need to wade through thousands of essays about big poop! Kudos go out to the student who was imaginative enough to realize that since this was really a fictional narrative, he wasn't bound by reality—his elephant was very small, and fit in the palm of his hand. We also applaud the amusing efforts of the student who wrote about taking his elephant to the park, where he had to deal with the problem of trying to get the elephant to fit on the playground equipment—there's an idea loaded with conflict. What do I do now? Some Test Tips If you have been fortunate enough not to have your students take the test yet, here are a few tips that might really help your students' writing: Make sure that they know that a narrative is a story. Review all parts of a narrative with them. (Our instructional packet Maurice's Room has an excellent narrative section including Story Mountain and student samples). Be sure that your students know the difference between a fictional and personal narrative. Tell them it is o.k., or even necessary, to make things up in a fictional narrative. Show them how to tell the difference using a variety of prompts. E-mail us or call us if you need help. Explain to students that although they think bodily functions are hilarious and can even spell most of the words, that they are not appropriate material for a writing test. This would be a good place to remind them about writing to an audience of teachers, not fellow students. Have students practice a similar prompt, such as: "Imagine you woke up one morning, and found a dragon in your room. Write a story about the adventures you might have together if you could keep him for just one day." Teach your students techniques such as showing rather than telling, sensory description, and dialogue that will really bring their stories to life. Read aloud and analyze the essays afterwards and practice grading them according to the rubric. If you need the rubric, contact us and we'll send you one. Even if your students have already taken the test, it would be a very good idea to follow the steps above, so they understand what is expected of them, and how they might improve their writing in the future. As long as they learn something from the testing experience, it won't be a total waste. If you have any words of wisdom you would like to share, or just need someone to verbally hold your hand, feel free to contact us via e-mail or phone. The purpose of this newsletter is to be a forum for teachers' insights and ideas. We, at Polaris, believe that the most important force in education is the relationship between students and teachers. That is why all of our curriculum is created by teachers who are still an active part of the classroom. Tune in next month when our newsletter topic will be all about the torture and turmoil of year-end grades.